words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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