Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Verdict: uncircumcised.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
