i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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