so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
