I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
