K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
