I am in a vortex of obligation.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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