At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
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My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
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It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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