Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
