My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I could have mohawked her pubes.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
