No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
