She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance