Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!