The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming