I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?