Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!

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(805): Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter! http://tfl.nu/vj10

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(443): View more from Maryland

when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her

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(443): when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her http://tfl.nu/gfqm

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(919): View more from North Carolina

just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe

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(919): just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe http://tfl.nu/vn8k

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.

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(610): You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok. http://tfl.nu/svs8

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?

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(973): Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet? http://tfl.nu/xg0z

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(716): View more from New York

ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.

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(716): ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck. http://tfl.nu/am3q

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(203): View more from Connecticut

we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.

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(203): we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something. http://tfl.nu/yca0

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(347): View more from New York

the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.

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(347): the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone. http://tfl.nu/ektw

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(915): View more from Texas

Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up

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(915): Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up http://tfl.nu/dczq

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(348): View more from

Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...

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(348): Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment... http://tfl.nu/ldjn

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(360): View more from Washington

Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.

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(360): Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink. http://tfl.nu/zpxh

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(303): View more from Colorado

He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.

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(303): He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside. http://tfl.nu/ipia

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(561): View more from Florida

There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door

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(561): There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door http://tfl.nu/csf9

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(315): View more from New York

im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.

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(315): im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass. http://tfl.nu/ll9k

Replies (4) Good night (472) Bad night (771)
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(512): View more from Texas

My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?

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(512): My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches? http://tfl.nu/d2yt

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