i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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