just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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