booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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