I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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