Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
pray to the hookup gods
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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