Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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