dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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