I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
i need some magic done to my vagina
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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