Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
