K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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