matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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