my mouth tastes like poor choices
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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