Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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