Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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