I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Randomize
