How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize