How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
