I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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