Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
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Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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