just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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