Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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