Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
