my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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