if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
