Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
