And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
