Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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