We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
