hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I think pants incapable of making pants work
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
