I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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