I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize