I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
