well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
