my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize