C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just had sex on a roof
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
