Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Don't EVER smell your tampon
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
