At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
