girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize