I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
