hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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