I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize