Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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