Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
