Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
