btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
