if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
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Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
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You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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