Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
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I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
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