Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
