You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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