He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
