just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
