you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
